(Cont.) A little story about my best friend, Al Gore
Previously…
When we left things last time, our dream of using the boiling frog analogy was circling the drain. Frogs’ willingness to let themselves get boiled alive had, it turned out, been drastically overstated. As things stood, there was no way I’d be able to enlist the frogs’ help as a rhetorical device without leaving myself open to the same devastating critiques as [almost President + longtime friend of the Jackuzzi] Al Gore had: with the frog thing having been debunked, folks had pretty much been able to discount everything else he was saying (about the ice caps melting and extreme weather events increasing in frequency and our animals going extinct).
In fairness, he probably should have seen this coming: we all know that if - anywhere in your hundreds of pages - there’s even one claim, statistic, or figure of speech that isn’t completely watertight, naysayers have all the leverage they need to take down your entire premise. One chink in the armor and you’re done for. One typo, for christ’s sake. Not a great forecast for yours truly, who was - lest we forget - already risking getting too close to the sun with the whole “writing about [Mama] Africa despite not having an African passport” thing…
The die was cast. Our dreams were cooked. Done. Pack it up, everyone, time to go home.
But, then, just as we’d given up all hope… strange sounds began to come from within the mausoleum; rustlings, rumblings. The boulder (so heavy that shifting it into place had required a dozen men) began to creak and groan and roll away, unblocking the entrance. Rays of blinding light shot forth; the angels descended and began to sing in perfect harmony. The women and children wept, the men looked on [bravely, and stoically]. By the time the fanfare subsided and the dust had settled, it was clear: Our dreams were alive. We had been Saved.
An Easter miracle. In the end, our salvation came from deep in the fine print: the test-subject frogs who’d stayed in the water had been given brain damage beforehand. Bad science, maybe, but great news: we, you see, aren’t exactly intact, either, neurologically speaking. The lobotomies and the cruder, more invasive treatments may have stopped a few decades ago, but that doesn’t mean our brains have been treated with much respect since. Anything but.
I talk in the book about our dysfunctional, asymmetric relationship to the internet - specifically social media - and with the culture “industry” in general: we don’t exactly have a discerning palate when it comes to what we’re willing to consume (and to become dependent on). We don’t think much about why we’re given what we’re given, or how the things we buy and spend our time doing might affect us. (Why our standards are so low is a question for another post.)
By “we,” and “people,” by the way, I’m only referring to us: the general, unwitting public; marketing firms/R&D teams have always been several steps/decades ahead. Unfortunately, this delay puts us at serious risk. How long did it take, for example, for people to realize that women being force-fed airbrushed images of models might have a negative effect on the way they saw themselves? Body dysmorphia/eating disorders, etc. There are a million examples of this. We eventually catch on, but it’s almost always too late.
This “lag,” I fear, will only increase. Not that it’s our fault, as individuals: we are, quite literally, bringing a lizard-brain to a supercomputer fight. Our biology hasn’t evolved commensurately with our technology, nor with the systems/ industries/knowledge bases we’ve built for the sole purpose of exploiting us, keeping us chronically ignorant, disenfranchised, and perpetually insecure. (They’ve had a head start of several centuries, for christ’s sake, so it’s no surprise that they’ve become very good at their jobs.)
What this means is that… drum roll… just like those frogs who [got lobotomized but] stayed in the hot tub, we too have had our brains and nervous systems tampered with: our attention spans, dopaminergic systems, adrenal glands, and frontal lobes have been battered, wrung-out, beaten, ransacked, hijacked. (And we probably shouldn’t use the past tense, as this process is still very much underway.) And this means we’re never in a position to step back, take a breather, and really evaluate what’s going on.
Depressing stuff. But let’s not get too hung up on that for now. This is, remember, a joyous day (for those of us hoping to avoid another re-write/round of edits). And, not to mention, it must surely be a boon for any web-footed, allegorical amphibians who were mere moments away from being laid off. Everybody wins! Look at us, snatching victory from the jaws of defeat. All I’d like to say is: “Never give up on your dreams.” (And “anything is possible.”) (And “this one’s for the haters.”)
Anyway, with my spirit lifted, I went back to find the clip of Gore using the analogy on Youtube. (He very graciously spares the metaphorical frogs, for what it’s worth, ad-libbing that they’ll “stay in the boiling water until they… are rescued.” A gut punch for PETA, who I’m sure were looking forward to scolding him.)
The comments section was, as you’d expect, an absolute goldmine. The frog theory being exposed as false was, evidently, very cathartic for a lot of people, who’d clearly taken exception to having been compared to a dull-witted animal. Not only was the specific analogy rendered null and void, but so too was Gore’s entire platform, which had finally been exposed for the blatant con-job it always was. Nice try, elites, almost got us with that one. Now go on; beat it; scram. Back to your ivory towers you go.
The usual crowd favorites were all trotted out, too: “Wait a second - we just got an inch of snow in [location not known for harsh winters] for the first time in 2 decades. I thought it was “global warming?” Ha! Knew this guy was an idiot.” (The marketing folks (at Big Inconvenient Truth, Inc. or whatever) eventually clocked onto this little loophole and changed “global warming” to “climate change,” but I fear the damage is done.)
And: “Wait a second. If evolution is real, like you say it is, won’t we just adapt to the new, hotter climate? So “global warming” isn’t anything to worry about.” From the same school of thought, I think, of “Hang on. If evolution is true, and we evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys just… hangin’ out, then, huh? Like, in the jungles and stuff?”
Lots to think about!
In my view, the comments actually offer a perfect encapsulation of how we’ve been encouraged to talk to each other and exchange ideas. The nature of the 24-hour media cycle is that it incentivizes sensationalism, shock, gore (the regular noun, that is, not the man, [longtime friend of the Jackuzzi] Al Gore), panic, etc. And, as we’ve talked about, people are already on a short fuse, having neither the time nor the inclination to engage in a meaningful way with foreign people or ideas. What they do have time for, however, are soundbites; by logical extension, “gotcha” moments have become the pinnacle of rhetoric. (Or one of a few, I guess.) This is a direct result of the attention span deficiency, but it also speaks to something deeper: that bad-faith engagement is not only encouraged, but completely legitimized. And this is the real cash cow.
With the help of social media, people have been given an arsenal of low-effort tools to evade/trump (once again, the word, not the man, though he does have a knack for this stuff) their opponent, meaning they never have to “admit defeat” (which would expose you as weak/effeminate)…or worse: reconsider their perspective. Nowadays, anyone can feel ennobled and righteous and, perhaps most importantly, capable of defending their team to the death, no matter how stacked against them the odds (or the facts) may be. This isn’t, I should add, a partisan phenomenon; pedantry and double standards and hypocrisy and all number of logical fallacies are completely socially acceptable; the frog video just happened to be a perfect incubator.
We don’t ever really learn about our cognitive biases/blind-spots, and when you combine that with a climate of fear and distrust and general media/political illiteracy, it means we’re not even able to even understand our own feelings, desires, or beliefs - let alone those held by people who don’t look or talk like us. For the some of these boat-rocking issues, such as climate change, I can also imagine that it’s way, way more enjoyable to be in keep your head in the sand. (The path of least resistance, and all that.)
Denial is intoxicating, and also easily disguised - it might be more present in our own thinking than we’d care to admit. Hey, you know what they say: It ain’t just a river in Egypt!
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