It's time to start taking politics seriously
Actionable advice (from a certified political scientist) + some more takeaways from the Most Important Election Ever™
Last time, we were trying to figure out what the hell happened, re: the US presidential election. Well, we know what “happened”—the democrats got taken behind the woodshed. But we were trying to figure out how/why.
We tried a bit of creative reverse engineering. We looked at everything they’d had done over the last few decades through a very specific lens: that the democrats do not actually care about winning. Okay, that’s not entirely fair. They care about winning, but only insofar as their two real priorities are satisfied. The first of these being that the status quo must remain largely unchanged. The other being that they get to retain their sense of moral/intellectual superiority. A victory that does not satisfy these two conditions is no victory at all.
It’s a shame this theory is so absurd, because it sure would tie up a lot of loose ends, including:
Obama being championed as some sort of civil rights hero simply for being black, despite being manifestly conservative/spineless (supreme court—RBG/Garland, drone strikes, Flint, MI, let the banks off the hook, etc.).
The DNC’s cradle-strangling of the more popular Sanders campaign in 2016, and Hillary being championed as a women’s rights hero despite being a neo-con.
Biden’s win in 2020 and subsequent refusal to step down (whether this was his decision or the DNC’s, the point stands), even at the cost of the 2024 election.
Finally, the short-lived, yet disastrous Harris campaign, which saw her underperform Biden in every state and even manage to lose the popular vote.
For shits and giggles, we set ourselves the task of trying to figure out how, hypothetically, they might go about achieving a general election victory, if they had to.
It would require that at least one of the two main priorities to be re-jigged/demoted. We quickly ruled out number #1; too indivisible. This left us with #2, the one about the moral superiority/martyr complex. This one was a little more in play, not least because it seems to be a relatively recent addition. It’s a vestige of the peak 90’s-era, post-Berlin Wall “end of history”/liberal democracy circlejerk. The thinking was that: [Geo]politics/economics had pretty much reached its final form, and it was now just about working out the kinks. Liberals believed that everyone (blue and red) was on the same page about this, at heart. Progress could therefore be achieved through: earnest bipartisanship, and the fetishization of things like “procedure,” “norms,” and “decorum.” (Basically, the things that got us this far. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.)
This is why they love to say things like “Guys, remember: A good democracy/America NEEDS a strong and healthy republican party.” All of this sounds good when you’re the one in power. It makes you look mature, gracious, and respectable.
When you’re not in power, though, and the other guy doesn’t return the favor, then you pretty quickly just become the meek, sweaty guy sitting in the cuck chair over in the corner, saying “No, no, I’m not jealous or upset. A good marriage NEEDS a strong and [well-endowed bull to service my wife on occasion].”
This should have been made clear enough in the early 2000s, with the advent of George W., the neo-cons, and the evangelical right. (Which coincided, not incidentally, with the rise in political division and illiteracy, as fueled by the increasingly corporate-captured internet and legacy media). This should have snuffed the idealism out for good, but it was revived (to some extent) again in 2008: the dems were the “smartest guys in the room” once more. By then, though, the GOP had realized that they could be as blatantly obstructive/cynical as they liked. They knew that the Democrats were unable or unwilling to fight dirty and that even when they did manage to gain power (as they did in 2008), they refused to consolidate their position; they will not act without the GOP’s permission/consent.
After all these years, you’d have thought that the libs would have found some shame. Did they really not notice that for all their “I love you’s,” they never got anything back, except for the occasional “Aww, thank you!”, or the classic “. . .And I love spending time with you.” But they’re as deferential as ever, even despite their opposition having become “fascists.” Hmmm.
The notion that snappy dialogue and catchy historically-themed raps will win over the audience/mythical “undecided voter”—or that is how power works—is of course tragically naive. But this is the point. It’s not that they don’t know this, it’s that they do not care: politics does not affect their lives in any meaningful way. We’ve got to remember that, for the “theater-kid”/Disney-brain contingent, capital-p Politics is their version of making it to the big leagues; it’s right up there with Broadway and Hollywood. “Politics” is just a vessel; a stage to act out their power fantasies. It’s like when the school bully embarrasses you (the dweeb/virgin/friendless loser) in front of your crush, and you spend the rest of the night crafting/rehearsing the comeback you didn’t think of in the moment. Here, though, you actually get to deliver it, to the rapturous applause of all your friends.
Now, it doesn’t take a psychology degree to see that there’s a deep-seated longing for attention/affirmation at work here.
. . . But this, my friends, is exactly why priority #2 is on the table. Because this is why they’re here. It’s not that they don’t worship priority #1, it’s just that they take it for granted; it’s the air they breath. At the emotional/day-to-day level, it’s the dividends of priority #2 that they’re chasing. And this is good. We can work with this. We just need to harness/redirect some of their insatiable longing to be seen as the cool kids.
My first recommendation as official Victory Consultant is that we’re gonna need to identify/cut our losses. This means updating our idea of what “cool” means, since our current assumption is 20+ years out of date. For “some” reason (spoiler: it’s a coping mechanism), we’ve married ourselves to it, and now have to pretend that being over-rehearsed, prudish, humorless, and meek is somehow inherently virtuous. The democrats have completely failed to adapt to a world where people get their “news” from Tiktok, Joe Rogan, video game streamers, etc.
It’s time to focus on the battle at hand: The Race to the Bottom. This means accepting that Trump has dragged you into the mud. You may not like it, but that’s where you are. And you’ve known it for pretty much a whole decade, so whining about the mud is no longer an option. “No more when they go low, we go high.” The bar/brow is low, and only getting lower.
Luckily, the foundation has already been laid: if your whole platform is “Vote for us, because you have to, because the other guy is worse,” fine. But no half measures. Calling the other team “weird” for a couple of days isn’t going to cut it. You’ve got to go full pro-wrestling. Bigger, stronger, funnier, crazier; gore, terror, shock value. I’m almost positive Kamala wouldn’t have done worse if she’d have made the Rock her VP (he could go back and forth between Dwayne Johnson and the actual Rock character, depending on the location/type of rally).
It also means accepting that charisma and star-power and controversy are non-negotiables. Which means lame old celebrity endorsements aren’t going to cut it anymore. It’s tone-deaf, the same as this sort of shit.
This brings us to the elephant in the room: the DNC’s sex appeal issue. Specifically, their lack of it. I’m not sure what this is caused by—perhaps it’s been an intentional shift (fuelled by the Woke Mind Virus™) to make the party seem as welcoming/neutral/non-threatening as possible? I.e., a sort of overcorrection in response to Trump/#MeToo™?
Or maybe it’s because the party’s been completely overrun by corporate lobbyists/ghouls, and this has sucked all the life out; everything’s been focus-grouped and split-tested. This includes their stilted politician-speak, which now seems inauthentic and robotic. Authenticity, being flawed, is key. Think of Rudy Giuliani accidentally booking Four Seasons Landscaping for a press conference, instead of the hotel of the same name:
People don’t know anyone who talks like Kamala or Hillary in real life—but they “know” a ton of Trumps and Rogans. (In real life or otherwise: people spend, collectively, millions of hours per week listening to these voices.)
If I’m a lonely, frustrated, sexless young dude, who am I going to turn to for help? Which barbeque am I gonna go to? The one with Sleepy Joe, weird Kamala, and scornful Hillary? Not a chance in hell. It’s lame and boring and sterile and corporate. You can already tell they only have bean burgers and alcohol-free beer. “B-b-but what’s wrong with professionalism? Politics is serious and high-minded, and needs to be conducted by serious, high-minded people!” Wrong, wrong. All wrong. Nobody cares anymore, idiot. The rulebook’s out the window. Nothing matters. Hand-wringing over hypocrisy and double-standards is pissing into the wind. Wake up: people do not care about their own interests. Women don’t give a shit about a candidate’s sexual misdeeds (yet again, a majority of white women voted for Trump).
It’s time to give the people what they want. And what they[’ve been conditioned to] want is: sex. At the moment, the bad guys are winning on this front unopposed. Put it this way. When someone says: “Beach Babes/Bikini Models for __________!!!”, who comes to mind? Exactly:
And that’s only part of it. They’ve also managed to co-opt the Flag, the Bald Eagle, guns, and all the other core tenets of what it means to be American. If I say: “Get your Gun-Shootin’/Flag-Wavin’/NFL-Lovin’ Titties out for _____!”, who do you think of? (Hint: it’s not “Tim Walz!”, I’ll tell you that much.)
This what you’re up against, and the importance of this can’t be overstated. This is soft power, my friends. Trump’s married to an eastern European hooker/model, for christ’s sake (whom he doesn’t even pretend to give a shit about, and vice versa), he’s had affairs with pornstars, and he talks openly about wanting to bang his own daughter. I mean, come on. This guy oozes charisma. This is a man’s man we’re talking about here. If you want any chance, you’ve got to positively reek of libido, hot-bloodedness, healthy sperm count, etc.
I know what you’re thinking: the whole point of our party is that it’s a home for people who are intimidated/repulsed by, or are biologically incapable of achieving this sort of thing. True. But that’s no longer an excuse. Technological advancements have been made. Anabolic steroids, HGH, synthetic T; it’s all available now. So start using it. All of it. Antler dust, special blood transfusions, everything. There’s no time to fuck around; the other team is drinking/injecting a specially-formulated cocktail of this shit on the hour (mixed in with their Huel/AG1 shake). Adapt or die.
The results don’t have to be perfect. Fake it til you make it. That’s what they’re doing. No, seriously. I’m telling you. There’s a huge margin for error here:
These men have millions of fans specifically because they are perceived as “masculine” and “alpha.” This is what the people want to see, no matter how obviously artificial or grotesque. They don’t care if the election erection is “rigged,” as it were. All this applies to the women, too, obviously:
Point being: we mustn’t let the “perfect” be the enemy of the “good” here. The palate is not what you would call a “discerning” one. People do not understand/care about nuance, subtext, irony, or even obvious homoeroticism. They see Patrick Bateman as an aspirational figure, for christ’s sake.
More on all this to come; thanks for tuning in. In the meantime, don’t forget to
