Jackuzzi...?
...it's stupid, I know, but bear with me. We're going to will it into existence... (Hint: ๐บ๐ ๐บ ๐)
You may have thought that this pageโs url was a shout-out to the chosen hobby of our [allegedly!] cartel-affiliated amigo. In fact, this was purely coincidental (although itโs clearly evidence of some sort of subconscious hot-tub fixation on my part). Until the book - and the context itโll provide - is released, I realize that โjackuzziโ just sounds more like Iโm trying to organize some sort of swingers club than anything else. (Which Iโm notโฆ quite yet.) So, at the risk of giving away the good stuff a too easily, some exposition might be a good idea.
But first, while weโre still on the topic of defining our terms (usernames, book titles, and the like), here are some earlier posts for anyone who wants to brush up on the canon (we do quizzes three times a week, so make sure you hit the books):
This one isnโt quite as organic as โpreocupado,โ which I know would have been more exciting; itโs pretty un-cool and self-serving to quote yourself - if I had a specific name I wanted to use for this blog, I could justโฆ write it into the book. Scummy. (โฆOn the other hand, who would know? Not you!)
Oh well; onwards. In the book, I talk about many of the challenges facing sub-Saharan Africa and the โthird world.โ This is kind of unavoidable (as a western outsider writing a โtravel bookโ) given how noticeable these things are to naรฏve outsiders like me. There are too many elephants in the room: the startling scale of the poverty, the high crime risk, the comically blatant government corruption, and so on.
Naturally, I also talk (as foreigners are wont to do) about what might be done to fix all of this. Itโs obligatory, I think, after you return from the third world - especially anywhere in southern Africa - to pontificate about how โweโ might be able to help get โthemโ up on their feet. Youโve lost your mind if you think people are gonna leave that on the table; that stuff is gold dust. Iโm no exception.
But then (spoiler alert, I guess) I shift focus a bit, and examine why it is, exactly, that we feel so impelled to go on these crusades. Iโd like to think I come at it less from a place of pious โwhatabouteryโ (which, ironically, is a tool most often employed by affluent folks to scold each other), and more from a place of sheer pragmatism: we donโt even have a working understanding of the systems around us - without this, our efforts to โsaveโ other places are futile - or even destructive. As a hegemonic power, itโs vital we have a grasp on our surroundings. This might require giving a second look to some things we take for granted. What if, just maybe, itโs our material comforts themselves - or even our supposed โvirtuesโ - that might be worth a second look? No, no. That canโt be. Itโs theโฆ uhhhโฆ immigrants who are wrong.
These questions are something I really try to drill down on, as I think itโs one of our defining questions. Whether we can confront some of these issues, let alone solve them, remains to be seen.
Oof. Heavy. Letโs end on a cheerier noteโฆ
โฆ anyway, I end up comparing our situation to that experiment where the frogs get boiled alive. (For those unaware: itโs said that if you plop frogs into lukewarm water and turn the temperature up slowly enough, they wonโt notice and will eventually let themselves be killed.)
Unfortunately, the veracity of this claim is up in the air. Wikipedia says it was tested back in the late 19th/early 20th centuries, but that the tests lacked scientific integrity. (So, if you have access to frogs and the requisite equipment, please do the scientific community a favor andโฆ just kidding. No animal abuse, please. (For now...)
Thankfully for the frogsโ sakes, I donโt think many people have tried to recreate this; I couldnโt find any video evidence, at least. (On the family-friendly websites I checked, that is. Iโm reluctant to bring in Liveleak or one of the โspicierโ sites, as I donโt want to have to scroll past a dozen pages of beheadings). But I want it to be true, for the sake of my analogy, so Iโm going to carry on as if it is. A little trade secret about our operation here: We never let facts get in the way of a good allegory.
The gist of it is that we few, we happy, froggy few, have stumbled upon a โjacuzziโ (that is, our way of life), and it sure is comfy. Paralyzingly, mind-numbingly comfy:
And we are not about to look such a generous gift in the mouth. I go on to discuss some of the mechanisms that combine to lull us into our false-sense of security. There are a whole bunch of other pressures placed on us, too, ranging from economic, to sociocultural, and beyond.
In any case, we (The Comfortable, that is) arrive at/are brought to the conclusion that our most rational course of action is to kick back, crack a beer, and - most importantly - try not to think too hard: โIt wonโt do you any good to dwell on things you canโt change; itโll only get you and the folks around you down. And nobody likes a party pooper, compadre.โ
But if Iโm gonna be boiled, Iโd very much like to go out on my terms.
I want it to be in a hot-tub someplace warmโฆ
a place where the beer flows like wineโฆ
where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano.
โฆโฆ. time to wrap this one up, I think. Anyway the Jackuzzi is just a shout out to that โethos.โ It isnโt an endorsement of apathy or nihilism or anything, but more just a grudging acknowledgement of our learned uselessness. Which is also why it doesnโt apply solely to folks from the US or UK. Anyone can be a Frog, itโs just a matter of whether youโฆ
*เฉโฉโงโหเผบ ๐ Believe ๐ เผป*เฉโฉโงโห
Oh, and one last item for the record: Iโm sure I โprotest too much,โ but I really am not trying to weasel into the hot-tub party of our steamy Mexican lothario. We wouldnโt join him even if we were invited - right, guys? Our club is separate, and way more exclusive. And also way cooler and more fun. As you can see above, his gringas are already starting to migrate our direction.
In fact, I actually managed to get my hands on some CCTV footage from his neck of the woods. Doesnโt look like heโs taking it too wellโฆ
